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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| Someone once said that in order to grow you must fall down and fall down many times; so that you can gain the strength to pick yourself off the floor. I must say that I haven’t fallen that many numbers of times. But I’m in a position where I have to pick my heart off the floor. I’ve hurt those that were once closest to my heart; that were driven out by my stubborn actions and foolish remarks. Sometimes words are what hurt most. I’ve lost friends in all aspects of my life, and they’ve lost me.
-- another goodie old file i found that i like
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| (Let me warn you ahead of time, this passage is not at all sugar coated.)
Dear reader;
Your reading this because you’re curious of what it says right? we'll I’m curious to know what is going on in that mind of yours, why does it seem that a majority of people in these new upcoming generation seem to get dumber and dumber? past generations struggled and fought to prevail for opportunities that are now available to us, and what do people make of all their hard work; STUPID CHOICES!
Fuck you if ever once you questioned my being. I am a good person and there's no doubt about that. I don't need to go on and talk myself up; you have your opportunity to find out for yourself.
People are just phases to me, they come and go like money. For the people that are no longer a part of my life; good! i don't need you around I have too much shit going on in my life. your just a little less weight off my shoulders. Because for a fact I’ve been a good friend; I’m there with a helping hand, a shoulder to lean on, ears to whisper too, and a heart more than willing to comfort.
--some old file i found in my computer it isn't finished or even correct lol. pls don't take offense | | |
| Consumed, Devoured, Suffocated, Choking, Over whelmed, Over stimulated, every damn fucking thing. This stupid thing called Jealousy is rotting the very core of me. Why am I not grateful, why do I take everything for granted, why is my emotional and mental make-up so UGLY! I wake up in the morning dreading to go through my day. Angry constantly enraged feeling like the world is against only me. Selfish; ME ME ME ME! that is my everyday constant thought myself. to be continued...
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| This blog will be simple yet complex. It will go from making sense to complete uselessness. It's just my way of getting some things off my chest and calming myself down. Today I got into a verbal altercation with my mom. And lately i haven't felt loved; loved by myself, loved by others, not even loved by you. I feel like im just going through the phases not really absorbing or in taking in my surroundings. Is it not ironic that our parents raise us to be good Samaritans, but they throw us under the bus whenever the opprotunity is possible. Growing up i never received the praise or attention i felt i deserved. I'm thankful trust me oh so thankful for everything that my mom has done to get me here today (working, putting food on the table, roof over my head, clothes on my back). But i feel like whenever she gets the chance, she uses these things to throw back into my face like i owe her something big. I respect this woman, i admire this woman, i love this woman, but i hate her with every muscle in my body. My mom wasn't the type to hold your hand or kiss your boo boo when you fell, she didn't even tell me "things are going to be okay" i felt like she wanted to punish me whenever possible. This woman told me that i wasn't going to graduate from high school and that i would be nothing more than a failure. I worked my ass off even when the odds were stacked against me and i graduated and not once did i hear this woman tell me she was proud of me. Im so angry with this woman. This blog probably doesn't make any sense and i cut the story off in the middle but my thoughts aren't making very much sense either. fuck man i just want someone to hold me while i cry. this woman has hurt me and lets me down countless times i just want someone to hold me and kiss my boo boos and tell me everything is going to be okay. i feel like a little girl so lost in the world with no right to be here. i just wanna be loved and cared for. someone to make me feel safe and important as if i matter. hold my hand.
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Forgiveness; They say forgive but never forget.
Anger; I have so much of it inside me.
Love; So few get to see the day!
Forgotten; Only a flick of the past.
VANISH how a thought slips through, how a love is eternally broken, how ...
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